In This Section

Realistic Expectations & Control Issues

Realistic Expectations & Control Issues

Have you ever hoped to influence an outcome of a situation? Or possibly attempt to manipulate someone's response to result in your desired outcome? We all do it, whether consciously or unconsciously. Depending on the situation and/or interaction, it can be looked at as expected human behavior or as a negative behavior. In this article, I will suggest that often times we, as human creatures, struggle to realize realistic and rational expectations as well as understand the things in which we can and cannot control.

Let's start with realistic expectations. It's important that when we are interacting with others, particularly friends, family, or partners, that our expectations of them are realistic and rational. We can hold others to a standard that is just not realistically achievable. For example, a husband expects his wife to always "say the right things." He is disappointed when she disagrees with him or gives a response that he does not like. This would be a form of unrealistic expectations that he is placing on his wife. You can even go as far as labeling it as a cognitive distortion if the husband feels that because his wife "does not say the right thing all the time" that she does not love him.

So how does this play into something called "locus of control?" Locus of control is what a single person has control over in his/her life. This person is in control of his/her emotions, thoughts, actions, and reactions. No one "makes" you do anything. You are in charge of your responses to situations and interactions. You, and only you are in control of YOU. Consequently, you cannot control another person's emotions, thoughts, actions, and reactions. That person is only in charge of himself/herself. This means that you must take responsibility for yourself, that even if you want another person to do something or treat you differently, ultimately it is up to that person to make those actions, not you.

This can be a difficult concept to come to terms with as we have a tendency to think we can "make" someone do something. Understanding that setting realistic expectations and controlling what you can control, takes a large burden of stress and anxiety over feeling responsible for someone's thoughts, feelings, and actions. It also is helpful in not setting up situations and interactions as having a negative or disappointing outcome (setting up for most probable failure).

5 comments (Add your own)

1. Teesfrini wrote:
tadalafil tablets 20 mg https://cialibuy.com/ - generic name for cialis Flagyl No Prescription tadalafil cialis que es la viagra

Mon, June 29, 2020 @ 10:53 AM

2. where to buy cialis online safely wrote:
Cialis Fabriquant FuedollaGued [url=https://acialisd.com/#]cialis prescription online[/url] RaveKnicania Vente Viagra Generique UpdarlTalpam buy cialis online canadian pharmacy affepe Viagra Frau Tabletten

Mon, July 20, 2020 @ 7:41 PM

3. cialis online purchase wrote:
Cephalexin Feline Dosage alolelsKam [url=https://biracialism.com/]cheapest cialis generic online[/url] indibubbaH effects of viagra and cialis Stoods Cialis effess Real Secure Ordering Fluoxetine Website Visa Accepted Pharmacy

Thu, August 20, 2020 @ 3:35 PM

4. 럭키걸 Lucky girl wrote:
https://www.dnfl150.com/theking
https://www.dnfl150.com/yes
https://www.dnfl150.com/first
https://www.dnfl150.com/sands
https://www.dnfl150.com/joy
https://www.dnfl150.com/royal
https://www.dnfl150.com/starclub
https://www.dnfl150.com/asian
https://www.dnfl150.com/superman
https://www.dnfl150.com/gatsby
https://www.dnfl150.com/33casino
https://www.dnfl150.com/ondasino
https://www.dnfl150.com


https://www.ajp150.com/theking
https://www.ajp150.com/sands
https://www.ajp150.com/first
https://www.ajp150.com/33casino
https://www.ajp150.com/worldcasino
https://www.ajp150.com/korea
https://www.ajp150.com/

Mon, September 14, 2020 @ 5:35 AM

5. 럭키걸 Lucky girl wrote:
예스카지노
퍼스트카지노
더킹카지노
샌즈카지노
조이카지노
로얄카지노
스타클럽카지노
아시안카지노
슈퍼맨카지노
개츠비카지노
33카지노
온라인카지노
카지노사이트


퍼스트카지노
더킹카지노
샌즈카지노
33카지노
월드카지노
코리아카지노
카지노사이트

Mon, September 14, 2020 @ 5:36 AM

Add a New Comment


code
 

Comment Guidelines: No HTML is allowed. Off-topic or inappropriate comments will be edited or deleted. Thanks.